Fear not, for I am with you...

Usually you wouldn't think that waking up and realizing that you are living your life in FEAR is a good thing. But for me it was a revelation from the Holy Spirit! The key to open the door to repentance and freedom from the grips that the enemy has had on me. For the past 2.5 months I have lived in FEAR. FEAR that I'll eat something that will make him fussy or FEAR that it is everything I'm eating that's causing his tummy issues and that there is nothing else we can do about it. FEAR that if I mess up once I'm going to gave a fussy/irritable baby that night and for days to come. FEAR that this is going to last for months to come, and emotionally...I don't know if I can handle that. FEAR that for the next 3 months, it's going to get worse because experts say that from 4-6 months is when reflux gets worse. FEAR that he won't get enough sleep. Fear that he'll grow up with allergies and digestive issues. Fear that I will FAIL him as a mom.  FEAR.....so as I sat there rocking my precious Caleb to sleep...I knew I needed the Word...I needed to hear from the Lord. I needed Him to speak to me in a real way...because frankly, I felt like He had forgotten me...that He didn't care and that He wasn't going to answer....

...Then I opened up my John Piper Devotional App on my Itouch and proceeded to read three devotionals on anxiety and fear. They caught my attention because of the verses that were listed at the top of them:

1. "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3
2. "...Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

In the first devotional, he used an analogy that really spoke to me. Say you are racing someone in a car, and the opponent (enemy) throws mud on your windshield. You immediately swerve because the mud has blocked your vision. However, that doesn't mean that you have to stop racing completely. You only need to turn the windshield wipers on and spray some windshield washer.  Then, your vision is cleared and you can get back on the track and finish the race. A lot of times as believers we think that because we are struggling to trust God during a season in our life then we don't have any faith at all. We have swerved off the track because the enemy has thrown mud on our windshield. Sometimes, we sit there and think what have I done and forget how to get back into the race. That's when our pit crew (Holy Spirit) reminds us to simply turn on the windshield wipers (Yeshua, Jesus) and windshield washer (THE WORD OF GOD) to remove the mud from our eyes  I know that I have been feeling this way and was struggling to know where to turn or how to get back on track. Thankfully, my wonderful, godly husband reminded me that the battle is in my mind and that I need to wash away the sin and attacks of the enemy with the Word of God. Engage in the battle...fight the good fight for faith and keep running the race....pick up my shield of faith and trust in the sword of God's Word to extinguish the the darts of the enemy...

Isaiah 40:27-31

"Why do you say, O Jacob (Katie), and assert, O Israel (Katie),

         “My way is hidden from the LORD,
         And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”?

28Do you not know? Have you not heard?
         The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth
         Does not become weary or tired.
         His understanding is inscrutable.

29He gives strength to the weary,
         And to him who lacks might He increases power.

30Though youths grow weary and tired,
         And vigorous young men stumble badly,

31Yet THOSE WHO WAIT ON THE LORD
         Will gain new strength;
         They will mount up with wings like eagles,
         They will run and not get tired,
         They will walk and not become weary.

Isaiah 41:10,13-14

‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
         Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
         I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
         Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

“For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand,
         Who says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.’
14“Do not fear, you worm Jacob (Katie), you men of Israel;
         I will help you,” declares the LORD, “and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.

Isaiah 43:1-4
But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob,
         And He who formed you, O Israel,
         “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
         I have called you by name; you are Mine!
2“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
         And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
         When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
         Nor will the flame burn you.
3“For I am the LORD your God,
         The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
         I have given Egypt as your ransom,
         Cush and Seba in your place.
4“Since you are precious in My sight,
         Since you are honored and I love you,
         I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.

Isaiah 49:14-16
But Zion (Katie) said, “The LORD has forsaken me,
         And the Lord has forgotten me.”
15“Can a woman forget her nursing child
         And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
         Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
16“Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
         Your walls are continually before Me.

Oh how the Word of God spoke to me in such a personal and real way especially Isaiah 49:14-16...I felt like the Scripture was specifically written for me and my situation. I can completely relate. I have nothing to fear!! The God of Israel is with me! The God who conquered sin, Satan, and death! The God who parted the Red Sea and who made water come from a rock! The God who gave sight to the blind by putting mud on their eyes and washing it off!!  So I pray oh Yahweh God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that you would put mud on my eyes and make me see! Wash me clean! Faith my eyes! I believe, help my unbelief! And in your might, Oh Lord, wage war against the enemy. May his darts of fear not hit me anymore. Remove the stronghold of fear in my life and set me free this day! May I rise up and walk in victory with your armor, Your Word girded firmly upon me! Amen and Amen....

A Time for Everything

What a journey these past 10.5 weeks have been!!!  On August 14, 2012, we welcomed our precious firstborn son Samuel Caleb Treesh into the world. As you can see, the picture to the left is me holding him when he was just a few hours old. Now looking at that picture I can't believe he is already 10 weeks old and cooing and smiling at me. Not to mention at least 14 lbs!!! WHEW we have a cute chunky baby on our hands.  Though this has been a joyous time for us and our whole family, it has also been one of hardship.  Coming into parenthood, I had so many expectations like breastfeeding would be easy, my baby will be the best sleeper and sleep all the time, that I would be able to just set him down and he would fall right asleep and that now that I'm not pregnant I can eat what I want! Oh how all of those expectations blew up in my face and even more crumbled to the ground.  

As the title of this blog suggests, there is a time and a season for everything. I love that the Hebrew word for season literally means an appointed time. It just shows that God specifically appoints or arranges for certain seasons to happen at just the right moment. Not too late and not too soon. During this season, I have questioned God...where are you? Do you hear me? Do you care about my pain? Are you ever going to answer my prayers? Why did you make it this hard? Are you sure I was ready to be a mom? When will Aaron and I be the same again? I've also dealt with resentment, anger, frustration, and doubt toward God.  But as I have journeyed through this deep water and valley, along the way God has proven over and over again HIS LAVISH GRACE, FAITHFULNESS, and that He is EL-ROI - the God who SEES. He has seen me and been with me every step of the way even when I don't feel him. He has never left my side. 

The past couple of days I have been meditating on Ecclesiastes 3:1-15. I am thankful that there is a season for everything, and though there are so many things I love about this season - CALEB - I long for the day when this season will pass, and a time of rejoicing and dancing will come!  

ECCLESIASTES 3:1-15

1There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven 2A time to give birth and a time to die;          A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3A time to kill and a time to heal;          A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4A time to weep and a time to laugh;          A time to mourn and a time to dance. 5A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;          A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 6A time to search and a time to give up as lost;          A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;          A time to be silent and a time to speak. 8A time to love and a time to hate;          A time for war and a time for peace.       9What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 10I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.        11He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.       12I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; 13moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. 14I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. 15That which is has been already and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by.

Why start a blog

As I start this blog, I can't help but think...ok Katie why another blog? I mean everyone has a blog and who really wants to read your ramblings. While that may be true, for me this is a spiritual journey and an outlet for to share what I'm learning and what God is teaching me. My hope and prayer is that someone else can be impacted by Yeshua's (Jesus') love through me in some small way. So here goes to blogging!